Last night I got all fucked up and watched that 
Twilight Zone episode with the evil ventriloquist dummy. Those things are almost as creepy as clowns! I gotta get me one of those little fuckers! You can say all kinds of fucked up shit to people, 
and blame it on the dummy! "It wasn't me who said your ass was like a big nasty bloated sponge! It was little Wood Head!" I could even cut a hole in it's crotch so I could stick my dick through it and trick chicks into touching it! Shit, it worked with a popcorn box, why not with a dummy?
Oh, and let me let you all in on a little secret. Trix ain't for kids. TRIX ARE MADE OUT OF KIDS! 
So, the next time you're having your shitty sugar sweetened baby balls, and you notice the picture of the missing kid on the milk carton, consider the
mystery solved!
