@#$#@$%@%$@%$!!!! Today I woke up with another fucking chupacabra in my fucking bed! Damn! Why the fuck do I have to fucking drink so much?! Sure, the chupacabra is a good lay, but 
those fuckers always shit in the bed, and then half the time they eat it. And no, I don't mean they eat their shit. They fucking eat my bed! I can't tell you how many times I've had to replace my bed because some lousy chupacabra either ate it, or covered it in her nasty crypto-thing funk. Aside from the mess and the unholy stink those things give off, the worst part is it's hard as hell to get any other type of creature to let you screw her after they find out you've been with a chupacabra. Sure, you can lie about the shit, but nine times out of ten a chick can smell that shit on you. No matter how often you hose yourself down it always takes weeks to get rid of that stink. In the meantime, the only thing you can find that will let you bang it is another filthy chupacabra, and the whole thing
starts all over again! It's worse than screwing space squids! Anyway, I need a new fucking bed, so somebody please send me one, AND NOT ONE SOMEBODY DIED IN!!!! I HATE THAT SHIT!!!
