What's with all this Black Friday shit? It just amazes me how easily people are duped when they think they might save a buck on some shit they didn't even need in the first place. People go out and wait in line all night to get in on these sales. They camp out in the parking lot at Walmart, ready to slit the throat of anybody who tries to jump line. By the time it's all over they spent eight fucking hours waiting in line. Now if you think about it, if they had spent that same time at work they would have been paid for it, and in most cases thay would have been paid more than what they saved in the stupid sale. So did they really save anything by waiting? The best way to save on Xmas shopping is to go out and invest in a rod and use it to make some withdraws. Or better yet, use it to shut up anybody who asks you for a fucking gift.
It's almost that time again. Pretty soon a horde of snotty little kids will brave the ten foot wall and acid moat to knock on my door and hit me up for some crappy treats. I HATE KIDS! Still, the ones who make it past the wolves and Punjab sticks sometimes can prove useful as pawns in my criminal enterprises. At thye very least I can sell them as slaves or part them out to medical labs. As usual, I'll be giving out cigarettes and hypodermic needles, so if you are a kid, and you're not afraid of land mines and vicious rabid beasts, stop on by.
Can anybody tell me why the fuck Yoko Ono looks better in her 70s than she did at 35? There's gotta be some kind of weird voodoo shit going on there. It can't even be all of those millions in the bank that's doing it. If that were the case George Lucas would look like a teenager. Nope, it's gotta be voodoo.
I'm an immortal Easter Bunny, so I've been around for awhile. I've seen a lot of mother fuckers come and go. In general, people just don't age as
fast as they used to age. Today, a broad of 60 looks like a broad of 35 would have looked 30 years ago. It used to be by the time they were 40 they were putting their hair up in a bun and keeping their teeth in a jar at night. These days the only ones who look their age are the drunks.
On the flip side, girls are sprouting boobs earlier. By the time most of them hit 14 they look like full grown women. It's getting so you can't tell the 14 and the 40 year olds apart! What does this mean? It means that, because chicks look better longer, they accumulate a lot more miles on the cat. Guys hit it earlier, more often and longer. So, even though they might look OK, you still have to trade them in just as often as you did before. Hell, with so many decent looking chicks out there it's almost your duty to get to as many of them as you can.
There's nothing worse than a damn alien from outer space! I hate those guys! They're even worse than zombies! That's why I really hate shit like ET or any other movie where you have cute friendly aliens. Aliens ain't cute and the sure as hell ain't friendly! Most of them are amorphous blobs of foul smelling goo with no other goals than to mate with earth women and to impersonate political figures. I can handle the whole replacing our politicians with alien duplicates thing, but I don't dig them stinking up my women! Ever been with a chick after she's screwed an alien? Well let me tell you, it ain't a good experience! I'm still sore form the time one tried to impregnate me with that space seed shit an alien implanted in her!
Now that Dillinger has had his story told again, and a Pretty Boy Floyd film is in the works somebody at Warner Bros decided to bring out the big guns. They're calling this new Capone film Cicero which sounds like an indication this film will be more concerned with Mr Capone's rise than with his fall. It's rumored to be a throwback to the 1930s gangster films, which could mean it will be noirish and action packed, or it could just mean it will be historically inaccurate.
"One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar, and I didn't know it. I mean, there's a little blood there and stuff like that … We went to a movie and then had a little midnight picnic on a satanic altar." Christine O'Donnell
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Man! You couldn't make this shit up! First the Tea party guys protest a tax hike when their taxes didn't go up, and now they are nominating witches to lead their born again christian movement! Looks Like they're serving more than tea at this party. Oh well, what's a tea party without the Mad Hatter?
For decades the Republicans have courted these nut balls since they were the only people who weren't rich who would vote for upper class tax breaks. Now the inmates have taken over the asylum.
It seems somebody came up with some incense that works like pot when you smoke it. I didn't know about the shit until after somebody decided to ban it. Now even the fake pot is illegal. Next up is cough medicine. God forbid somebody should use it to catch a buzz. They better outlaw that too.
What the hell is it with this country? If it's not alchohol and it makes you feel good it is a crime to use it. Some might credit this to a strong purtian streak in our society, but I suspect the purtian kill-joy types are just being used by the big money boys. The Alcohol guys don't want somebody muscling in on their take, the dope dealers don't want it to be legal because they won't make as much if dope goes legit, and the local governments need the bucks they get from shaking down anyone who is out trying to have a good time. It's all about the green. Until Uncle Sam decides he needs the tax revenue from it, the misguided do-gooders and their pals, the greedy crooks will continue to make sure our country is drug free.
What's with all this Black Friday shit? It just amazes me how easily people are duped when they think they might save a buck on some shit they didn't even need in the first place. People go out and wait in line all night to get in on these sales. They camp out in the parking lot at Walmart, ready to slit the throat of anybody who tries to jump line. By the time it's all over they spent eight fucking hours waiting in line. Now if you think about it, if they had spent that same time at work they would have been paid for it, and in most cases thay would have been paid more 
than what they saved in the stupid sale. So did they really save anything by waiting?
The best way to save on Xmas shopping is to go out and invest in a rod and use it to make some withdraws. Or better yet, use it to shut up anybody who asks you for a fucking gift.
Can anybody tell me why the fuck Yoko Ono looks better in her 70s than she did at 35? There's gotta be some kind of weird voodoo shit going on there. It can't even be all of those millions in the bank that's doing it. If that were the case George Lucas would look like a teenager. Nope, it's gotta be voodoo. 
