Saturday, August 15, 2009

Over The Counter Allergy Medicine

Holy fucking shit! All I fucking wanted to do was stop sneezing and instead I felt like I downed a tub of Mad Dog! Anybody else get fucked up on this shit? Sure, getting fucked up is usually a good thing, but this shit just made me feel like a fucking zombie without the euphoria we all expect from our drugs. AND I DIDN'T STOP SNEEZING! ^$#&^$#$^#^!!!!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Gorilla Girls WIth Guns!

What the hell is going on with all these god damn gorilla girls?! Everywhere I go I see these freaks, and every time they spot me they shoot at me!

But let's not let that bother us today. Today we have more important things to discuss. Today I

would like to talk to you about the infamous KKK! In an attempt to change their image they have abandoned their sheets and adopted a new disguise. Now they all wear freaky rubber suits with cartoonish mouse ears. This is no mere cosmetic change. The ears are radar dishes and the rubber insulates them from electronic beams from outer space! In other words, these guys, traumatized by the election of a black guy to the office of President, have had a collective nervous breakdown.

The good news is they are easier to spot in their new duds and therefore make better targets. The bad news is they can run faster now that they're

not wrapped up in sheets.

Fuck it! I'm gonna go peruse my collection of vintage smut and let somebody else worry about the Klan and the fucking gorilla girls!