Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Blows!

This year I'm dressing up as a guy who beats the shit out of snotty little kids who knock on my door wanting me to give them something free. Fuck Halloween!

And it really pisses me off that nobody put their fucking pumpkins out early this year! Every year I get a kick out of going around and filling all of the jack'o lanterns with shit, but this year there fucking weren't any! Selfish bastards! At least I had fun playing Beat and Rob the Tourist down in the Quarter. The one good thing about Halloween is everybody down there is wearing masks, so I don't have to put as much effort into disguising myself as a human before I knock off the jerks from up north. All I have to do is put on a lousy mask, and I'm good to go.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Trick R Treat

Genre: Horror
This is the best horror movie I sat through in ages, and certainly the best direct to DVD flick I've seen. The reason it never played on the big screen was Warner Bros got skittish about all the kids that get hacked up and poisoned. They also kill a bus full of retarded kids and scare the shit out of a retarded girl. I don't know why anybody who is retarded would complain though since, even though most of them are dead, the retarded kids get to put the beat down on some mother fuckers.
We got kids eating candy that makes them puke up bloody chocolate before they die, and all kinds of cool shit like that. And then there is this freaky ass little fucker with a sack over his head who really kicks ass! This guy makes Mike Meyers look like a fucking pussy and he's only about four feet tall.
I recommend seeing it while some chick gives you a blow job, but that pretty much goes for all movies.