Monday, July 13, 2009

I Smell Yahoo!

Now that 360 has deleted themselves out of the game, all the Yahoos are heading our way. It won't be long before Multiply is crawling with Nazis, Bible Thumpers and guys who wear colorful rubber suits with zippers running up the ass. Soon the stench will be so bad that all decent gangsters, dope fiends, serial killers and colorful holiday icons will gag as soon as we log on.

Fight back! We must exterminate these vermin as soon as they show their bloated, acne infested

asses! Shoot first and worry about the blood stains on your old lady's favorite fuzzy pink handcuffs later! KILL! KILL! KILL!


alien Photobucket

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Internet Dating

pissed fluffy

I just don't get this shit. Unless somebody was living on an ice berg in the Artic, why would they want to look for people to screw on the fucking Internet? I've heard of mother fuckers traveling hundreds of miles to hook up with some jackass they talked to on line, and didn't even know what they fucking looked like.

Dumb asses! You can get any fucking thing you want at Walmart! Just hang around, and if somebody screw worthy looks at you, go up and talk to them. Shit! It ain't that hard people! And if they turn out to be creepy you won't have traveled  a billion miles before you found it out.

If a person is trolling around the net looking for a mate, chances are it's because they are so fucked up and goofy they can't get it on with anybody who knows them. Either that or they got thrown out of Walmart.


Saturday, July 11, 2009

The New Twin Span

After what seems like a fucking million years they finally opened up the new East bound Twin Span. Sure, the ride is smooth, but the shit is too high. If you were to drop a body off the side people could hear the splash all the way over in fucking Oak Harbor!  Cock suckers can't do anything right! The crew working on the shit was pretty fucking weird, so what do you expect? They had to import the guys from Germany since nobody from around here is going to do any fucking work.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Life In The Micromanagement Zone

Do we really need a law saying we can't use a cell phone in a car? Right now if you're distracted and you run over an old lady you get a fucking ticket. We already have laws against driving like a retard. If you can talk on your fucking phone and not run into a bus, you get to go home happy. If you do run into a bus, you get all fucked up and get a ticket. Why the fuck do we need another fucking law?!

It's like this "hate crime" bullshit. If I beat a guy over the head with a fucking mallet, and a cop sees me do it, I get busted. Does it fucking matter whether I beat the guy because he was a queer jew, or if I just didn't like his fucking shoes? We already have a law against beating people over the fucking head. I hated the guy, so I beat him. In my case it has nothing to do with his race or gender, or any of that shit;I just hate people in general. Shouldn't I get a few years knocked off my sentence for being so high minded and not discriminating?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Jackson Media Frenzy

Sure, the guy made some good songs, but shit people, enough is enough! This guy might have been the big thing in the 80s, but the 80s were pretty low on the musical innovation scale. Yeah, I know he was super famous and he was performing longer than god, but the guy was minor league stuff compared to previous musical icons. 40 years after they broke up we still got Beatles tunes playing all over the fucking place. How often did you hear a Jackson tune in the last few years? This guy had talent, and he was popular before he went off the deep end and started all of that Peter Pan bullshit, but we're not talking Elvis class fame or impact here.
By the way, how the fuck did he end up with white kids? He had plastic surgery on his sperm too? All the bi-racial kids I know look at least a little black. The guy owned the rights to half the Beatles songs, his own hits, and even fucking "Happy Birthday," and couldn't figure out how to make money off it, but he managed to not only turn himself into a white chick, but to have white kids too. Maybe he does deserve a fucking statue or something.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Important News!

Sorry fuckers. No news here. I just wanted to draw you in so I could tell you all about my latest BUNNY BARGIN! I call it ERECTOR VII and all of you will want to get in on this  right away once you hear how great this shit is!

All you have to do is send me a bunch money and I'll send you a bag of shit! You smear the shit all over some one you hate, set him on fire, and presto! You get a hard on!

OK, so that idea blows. How about you just send me some fucking money or I'll show up at your fucking house, steal all of your porn, and then put a blindfold on and screw your old lady. 


Saturday, July 4, 2009

Public Enemies

Genre: Classics
Baby Face Nelson is the fucking shit in this. That guy needs his own movie.
There's lots of shooting and car chases, and other cool shit, and they got the history right. Hoover is a putz and JD and the boys rock the scene with their tommyguns. There's even some romance shit so you can bring a hoe and not have to listen to her bitch through the whole thing. Take the kids!