Thursday, March 29, 2012

What Is Going On With Republicans?

Everybody knows I hate those bastards. I put a lot of effort into being evil and shitty, so I don't like it when a pack of pricks like these guys steals my thunder. I mean, WTF? These guys aren't even trying to come up with a plan that should work, yet they're still making everybody miserable! They just toss out a bunch of crap about family values and bitch about welfare and minorities. Where's the art in that? And here I am, doing my best to spread misery in an innovative manner, and it's all for nothing because everybody is already pissed off and broke! Fuck them!

I suppose I shouldn't sweat it too much. It looks like they are about done. I couldn't have invented some of the shit they've come up with lately. It's like if you were playing football with a hated rival and they suddenly started trying to fuck the ball. These clowns have lost it. Trying to cut Medicare in an election season? Pushing for tax breaks for the rich when people are already out in the streets protesting that shit? Crazy! And what's with this war on women? Pissing off 50% of the population is a good way to get elected? Morons!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Clearance Sale!

   Today I'm having a clearance sale on robot whores! I got a whole warehouse of these things I got from some guy back in the early 90's. He used work on the animated characters at Disney until he went nuts and started making all the dead presidents and cartoon character anatomically correct. I recently got a new shipment of lobotomized clones, so I gotta make room! Get your very own sex slave robot today!!!*







*No refunds. Do not use in bathtub! Seller is not responsible for death by electrocution.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Easter Is Almost Here

Fuck Easter! No peeps this year. This year I'm giving out baskets of shit and used syringes. I'm sick of this shit!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Zombies Suck!

All I fucking hear about these days are zombies! They're in books, at the movies and on TV. They're also all over the fucking place down here in New Orleans AND THEY SUCK! These sad ass clowns are more retarded lost tourists than monsters. First of all they don't eat people. Trust me, I've tried to feed these bastards on many occasions, and they really just don't give a fuck about human flesh. Nope, that shit was all made up for the movies. These guys just want to stumble about, stinking up every place they go.

New Orleans is second only to Hati when it comes to Voodoo, and that's where these goofs come from. Some screwy voodoo guy decides the local illegal immigrants cost too much, so he digs up some slaves. Who do you think cleans up all the shit and used jimmies after mardi Gras? Zombies.

The good news is you don't have to even shoot them in the head to take them out. Just feed them some salt. No shit, it works. Whenever I see these freaks I always buy them a pack of salted peanuts and laugh my ass off as they suddenly remember they are dead and go back to the grave. This hobby hasn't exactly endeared me to the Voodoo priests. The up side of this is all the money I make selling Easter Bunny voodoo dolls. I make a mint and barely even notice the pin pricks. Fuck Voodoo!