Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Easter Bunny On Aging

Can anybody tell me why the fuck Yoko Ono looks better in her 70s than she did at 35? There's gotta be some kind of weird voodoo shit going on there. It can't even be all of those millions in the bank that's doing it. If that were the case George Lucas would look like a teenager. Nope, it's gotta be voodoo.

     I'm an immortal Easter Bunny, so I've been around for awhile. I've seen a lot of mother fuckers come and go. In general, people just don't age as

fast as they used to age. Today, a broad of 60 looks like a broad of 35 would have looked 30 years ago. It used to be by the time they were 40 they were putting their hair up in a bun and keeping their teeth in a jar at night. These days the only ones who look their age are the drunks.

    On the flip side, girls are sprouting boobs earlier. By the time most of them hit 14 they look like full grown women. It's getting so you can't tell the 14 and the 40 year olds apart! What does this mean? It means that, because chicks look better longer, they accumulate a lot more miles on the cat. Guys hit it earlier, more often and longer. So, even though they might look OK, you still have to trade them in just as often as you did before. Hell, with so many decent looking chicks out there it's almost your duty to get to as many of them as you can.

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