Friday, December 9, 2011

Help Wanted

You just can't find good henchmen these days! What is up with you guys?! Part of being an effective,antisocial fiend is avoiding the cops. If you're going around getting arrested or deported every other fucking day how the hell are you going to spread terror and woe on a consistent basis? Just yesterday I tried to get Fatty Smells to help me jack some tires off a school bus only to find they'd picked him up again. Right now there are hoards of children not being deprived of an education just because Fatty would rather chill in the bug house. How fair is that?! Sure, they got some great meds in the home for the criminally insane, but that's no excuse to be a slacker.

Pacco is locked up in Mexico, Steve took a shiv in the gut when he tried to rip off a hooker, and DC has apparently been captured by monks (don't ask).

So, if you are a motivated individual who has what it takes to be a menace, come see me. I won't pay you shit, but I will let you bone that ugly clown broad down at Saucy Wings who is always giving me the eye. She might not be pretty, but nobody will miss her if you decide to screw her to death.