If you're going to put a cat in one of those tubes at the drive up window of the bank, be sure the guy in front of you has already taken off. It was just my luck the car was a fucking Pinto, so I couldn't even ram the bastard!
Fuck that! I'm here to today to tell you all about my new restaurant. I never had any interest in shit like that, but Stinky Palm Pete from over on Decatur had to blow town because of that morals charge, and he left me the keys to his sea food joint. I got a whole freezer full of weird ass sea creatures stinking the place up. The smell is even worse since I quit paying the electric bill a few weeks ago. Guess I'll have to add some extra spice to cover that shit up.
The real problem is I don't fucking know how to cook anything that's not poisonous. That might be bad if I'm counting on repeat business. I'm thinking the whores might take some of the stink off of the rotten food, but the whores have to eat too, and I have no idea what the fuck to feed them. I guess they could eat each other, but then I'd have to find new whores, and I've this batch for close to fifty years now.
To hell with it! I'll just have some fun dropping small animals into the fryer and then burn the place down! I don't fucking need it! I got those vending machines I got from Fat Vinnie. I'll just pay for my illegal drugs with quarters from now on.