Saturday, January 10, 2009

My Favorite Killer

First off, I'd like to mention that when a cop asks you why you think he pulled you over "Because you're a dick" is not the correct answer. Just something I learned the hard way today that I thought I'd share.

Now on to today's topic: The Zodiac Killer!

Why do I think this guy is better than Ted Bundy or any of those other guys? For one, THE GUY DIDN'T GET CAUGHT! No matter how many people these other jackasses took out they are still failures because they got busted. If you're going over a list of homicidal maniacs, all the ones listed by their real names are losers. If you see some fucked up shit like Zodiac, or The Fish Hook Up The Nose Killer, you know those are the guys who won the game. Guys like Bundy never even made it to the play offs.

Another reason this guy gets high marks is because HE WASN'T JUST ANOTHER SEX KILLER. He didn't waste time jerking off on the victim's shoes. He just came in, removed their lives, and rolled out. Nothing says

BORING like another sex crime. We want our fiends to be insidious masterminds, not brain damaged perverts.

And then there is the costume! This guy went to the trouble to whip up his very own super villain

outfit, complete with sinister black hood and his logo on his chest! How cool is that shit! Just the fact the guy had a logo puts him ahead of the rest.

So, if you see this guy, tell him I said he did a good job, and remind him he owes me for the ammo he used back in '69. That acid I traded it for was lame.


  1. Never heard of the guy. Was he with an outfit or was he an independent operator?

  2. He was pretty cool.

    Bundys still my favorite, Edmund Kemper is high on my list of favs also. Mostly because they didnt go after whores, as I like to say "anyone with 40$ in their hand can get a whore in the car" Bundy had some skills.
    And come on Bunny, taking a girls head home with you to beat off on is pretty cool.

  3. Bundy also gets some points for the whole daring escape bit. I remember that got everybody's attention.

  4. The guy got away with it, but what did he get out of the deal? I can't see him getting rich off of this Halloween suit gag.

  5. It's not about the money. It's the message, dumb ass. Gives me an idea though. Since he didn't copyright the logo and shit, why can't I make some cool Zodiac Bunny action figures? I can see the green now!

  6. It is the correct answer!

    Cops are just allergic to the truth... =(

  7. I've found a nice hard blow to the head usually makes them stop sneezing.

  8. I've always leaned towards Dahmer, not sure why. Maybe I felt sorry for him. He was a pitiable creature, very lonely and quite ill. Kemper is fascinating because of his slow, soft-spoken demeanor and his massive size. The gentle giant? Not so much ...

    My opinion: It doesn't take skill to kill someone. Human beings are very fragile. Killing is not much of an accomplishment, certainly earns you no bragging rights in my book. But if they must do it, (and some clearly cannot help themselves) then I like them to do it with style, and have some sort of theme. I mean, at least put some effort into it. Amuse your terrified public. Be crafty. Be brilliant. You're right, Fluff, nothing is more boring than a plain old brainless sex killer.

    Winner of the MOST BORING serial killer ever? BTK. What a loser that guy is. Can't be a normal, successful human being, AND he can't even be a screw-up properly by being an INTERESTING serial killer. He took a break for 20-odd years because he was satisfied playing neighbourhood watch with his little badge and his tickets he could write up LMAO. Then he returned to commit several more boring kills. Whoopdie do. BTK wins (or loses) because he's truly pathetic.

  9. Isky: Lots of girls love Dahmer, over the years ive met many in crime groups or serial killer sites that just adore him. I think it`s because he was a gay killer so somewhere deep inside he`s not a threat to them.

    Speaking of gay serial killers I ran into this list awhile back.

    Donald Harvey (37 murders)

    John Wayne Gacy (33 murders)
    we all know about him.

    Patrick Wayne Kearney (32 murders)

    Bruce Davis (28 murders)

    Dean Corll, Elmer Wayne Henley, David Owen Brooks (27 murders)

    Juan Corona (25 murders)

    Jeffrey Dahmer (17 murders)
    we all know about him

    Randy Kraft (16 murders)

    William Bonin (14 murders)

    My personal favorite Gay serial killer is:

    Herb Baumeister (11 known murders)

    He started a chain of grocery stores in Ohio, Indiana, Michigan.
    `Sav-a-lot` - which is where I do most of my grocery shopping. It`s always fun to small talk with the cashiers about the stores founder being a gay serial killer. Most of them have no idea, and probably think I'm a total freak by the time they finish ringing up my goods.

  10. I knew there was a reason I never bought meat at Sav-a-lot. I should have figured it though.Only a serial killer would come up with the idea to make people bring their own fucking bags. Fuck Sav-a-lot!

  11. Even the guy's killer name sucks. It sounds like something on the menu at a fast food joint.
    I'm not sure the Zodiac even is a serial killer in the classic sense. He's almost like a terrorist, except there is no higher rational for his acts than the terror they inspire. It doesn't seem like he was compelled to kill, but rather killed as part of a plan to create mass hysteria. This guy wanted to be the boogieman, and he pretty much pulled it off.

  12. Well, of the three types of serial killer, he falls into the category of "thrill seeker" ... it was a game to him, the killing being only a necessary step to getting him into the game he so desired, right? The victims meant nothing special to him, the important thing was the codes and the media and outsmarting those chasing him.

  13. I liked BTK, yes he was a sex killer, but most sex killers go after the easy prey `Whores`. His victims were in no way living a high risk lifestyle. You would never think that someone breaking into your house or knocking at your front door would be there to kill your whole family. And the pictures he took of himself in women's clothes wearing a mask, tied up in a shallow grave or hanging from a tree. I thought was pretty crazy in the WTF bizarre way. It was also a game to him, with the letter sending and taunting police.

  14. That was all there, but there was a more theatrical side to it with this guy. He didn't just want to out smart everyone, he wanted to create something. When he claimed he was not going to "sign his work" anymore, but that he would still be around, doing his evil deeds in secret, he set it up so any future crime could be attributed to this thing he had created, the Zodiac. No one is even sure which of the crimes he took credit for while he was active he actually committed. This guy wanted the thrill of the chase, and the media attention, but he also wanted to create a legend. He wasn't playing the same kind of game the police were, and to this day nobody is really sure how to profile him.

  15. The guy does get some freak points, but even there he was in the minors. He might have put on women's clothes, but Ed Gein had already out done him by wearing actual women.

  16. Here are some other guys who got to keep their spooky nick names
    The Servant Girl Annihilator has a nice ring to it, but it is kind of limiting. I guess if he annihilated a candle stick maker it would have caused a scandal.

  17. You know what's really sad? All those mundane serial killers out there who got caught but never got a nick name. Let's all hang our heads in a moment of silence for the nameless and forgotten brothers and sisters of the Culling Cabal.

    BTK trick-romanced some old ugly women into being his girlfriends, and quite frankly I don't find that to be a difficult take-down. Easier than a whore in some cases, because street meat have radars for freaks and a lot of them are armed these days ... trusting fat chicks desperate for love have dropped their radar long ago hoping that anyone will love them. He preyed on something even easier than hookers: the lonely fuglies. Had he reached a bit higher and started snagging women out of his league who didn't come to him willingly, that might have been different. Any guy (even a sad sack like BTK) could get fat ugly chicks to come back to their place. Don't even have to pay 'em.

    My friends are right. I CAN turn mean at the drop of a hat. Hunh.

  18. Not sure where you heard that from. I'm no expert on his case but everything Ive read shows he watched women for sometime then B&E`d their house.

    Fast Facts: BTK Victims,2933,149113,00.html

    He was married for 34 years
    Marriage Date: May 22, 1971. The marriage ended on July 26, 2005

    Doesn't mean he did`nt have some on the side. :)

  19. I bet she feels stupid. How the hell do you not notice the guy you've lived with for three decades is a homocidal fiend? This guy must have had a list of all the retarded women in the area.

  20. Shit! Herb Baumeister was married too! He wasn't only a killer, he was a fag! What are these guys doing, lobotomising these broads before they marry them?

  21. Why do the work if you aren't getting paid?

  22. Rich, maybe I'm thinking of someone else then .... totally possible ...

  23. Hmm, you're right, who the heck was I thinking of then? .... one of his vics was an older lady with a daughter in a wheelchair, and they moved in with him ... ring a bell? .... and another was someone he picked up on an online dating site .... hunh, my memory is sucking lately :(

  24. Not familiar with that Isky, but I did a little surfing and came up with:

    John Edward Robinson:
    In 1994 Robinson met 45-year-old Sheila Faith, whose 15-year-old daughter, Debbie, was confined to a wheelchair and in need of constant medical care. Robinson met her in an online chat room and promised to provide care for both her and her daughter. The Faiths were charmed and moved to Kansas. Robinson arranged to have the pension check Sheila received from her first husband's death be routed to a PO box. The Faiths were not heard from again until their bodies were discovered in barrels in the storage unit in Raymore, Missouri.

  25. Not sure if this is who you were thinking about, but after reading I realized that I do recall him as his last victim was from my area.

    Suzette Trouten, 28, moved to suburban Kansas City in March 2000 from Monroe, Michigan. Her family said she was lured through an Internet chat room on the promise of $62,000 to care for "an elderly father." Records from the Missouri secretary of state show she was listed as the registered agent in the articles of incorporation for Hydro-Gro Inc. She was found in a barrel buried in the La Cygne property.

    I remember the local news covering this story.